You will have to forgive the silence - the weeks are flying by as we enter the new year in earnest. Work demands are many, and little by little all the normal rhythms of life are settling back in. It is mid-winter, the long season.
I have been thinking a lot about sayings the last few days - how useful or useless they are. Dad used to have so many that he used all the time, and today, at work, I actually said one in a meeting: "Well," I said, "My dad used to say you should never underestimate the Dumb Factor." In my memory, he used this in discussions of politics. Politicians have to accommodate the "dumb." That's why they can't really discuss the issues - too many people wouldn't understand them and they need the votes. I suppose, at least in part, it is a true saying.
He used to say "You've got to dance with the guy that brought you...." Modernized, I might say, "You have to dance with the one..." and of course, "Lie down with dogs - Get up with fleas" and "Live prospectively, understand retrospectively." The litany of his sayings is long.
But he also told that wonderful story about his Aunt Esther and her little poem, her little saying:
Habit is a cord
You weave a thread each day
Until it is so strong
You cannot break away
I think it is my favorite - particularly as I get older and realize that we are, in fact, more or less, the sum total of our habits. And, as I get older, I realize that old habits die hard and new habits are born (at least in me) out of two things: happenstance and passion. Suddenly, it seems, I notice that I have a new habit - maybe its as simple as the cup of decaf tea I seem to make every single night now - decaf English breakfast equals the end of the day. Or maybe its coming in through the back door instead of the front. When did that start? Happenstance habits. But the others, the ones that really change a life are passionate...and I can only think about a few of those hard-won, enduring, central, essential habits:
Time alone in the studio every morning no matter what
Saying thank you in that hour - letting worries fall into God's column on the to-do list
Paying attention, every day, to the mystery and the mercy
I find myself thinking a lot about mercy - a quality that seems so missing from public discourse - so missing from so many sayings. And yet, it is one of those habits that I want to cultivate in myself...is there a saying that will help with that?
About two years ago, I made a piece of art with two birds - and included in it, the saying on this art card:
Two birds No stone Only mercy
It stays with me. I remember it, even if I am still not very good at it. When I am cross over the conduct of crazy drivers in the parking lot at Kroger - this happened just yesterday! - or when I am in a meeting and I think the Dumb Factor has invaded every body in the room (including my own), I do find it helpful to pause and think: "Well, you know what I always say: Two birds. No stone. Only mercy." It makes me pause. Think again. Pay attention.
As I settle into the New Year - I think this is one of my resolutions: Only Mercy. And as much as I can, I mean to live it out.
Time to finish my tea.
I am thinking so much about you and these last days of your sister's life....
My every prayer for her comes from Compline in the Book of Common Prayer.
May God grant a perfect night and a peaceful end.
Only mercy
I love you
Amanda
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