Sunday, April 17, 2011

17 April 2011



It's Palm Sunday.

This morning, I found myself thinking about all those Hosannas at the entrance to Jerusalem.  Once you let these gospel stories into your heart, they have a tendency to stay for a long time. They shift in meaning; they sharpen and fade. But the basic image remains: Jesus and his disciples, donkey and palm fronds, singing and shouting praise at the "triumphal entry."  I remember too, in at least one of the gospel accounts, there is a strange little text in which Jesus says that even if the crowds were silent, the rocks and stones would begin to shout.

But today, I find myself wondering what would the stones say? What are the stones saying if I stop to listen? 

The crowds were shouting out their expectation of victory -  Jesus as legal King of Jerusalem, Jesus as a just ruler in a time of corruption...shouting their affirmation of hope. But every hope would be dashed.  Jesus would not overthrow the government; he would not assume political leadership. In fact, after the triumphal entry, more than at any other moment in the gospels, he just seems annoyed. He overturns the money-changers tables in the temple.  He curses a fig tree for not having a ripe fig for him as he passes by. He all but  picks a fight with the chief priest and the elders when they question his authority. And he preaches these strange metaphors - trying, I suspect, one more time to tell people what he knew...and, knowing that they wold misunderstand him no matter what. He speaks in riddles about vineyard owners, tax collectors, wedding servants, and coins.  He seems bored by questions of whether people will marry in heaven and in something that must have sounded like a rant, he lists off the seven woes - woe to the blind guides, woe to the teachers of the law, woe to hypocrites.  He rattles off the signs of the end of the age, and before you know it, he appears to have offended everyone around him so completely - except perhaps the woman with the expensive oil that she poured on his head - so completely alienated everyone that the betrayal of Judas  comes as no surprise, Peter's denial seems predictable, and sure enough it all goes downhill so fast - in a few short days.

So why were they shouting Hosanna? These are the same ones, we are taught, who seven days later shout "Crucify him."  This morning, it seemed to me that maybe this propensity we have to shout is part of the problem.  Maybe we should be a little less willing to jump on in there and say Yea or Nay...Maybe we should just shut up and move on.  But, then, as the day wore on, and I finished my taxes (rendering unto Caesar...), I started to think about how tenderly God must love us - if God is love after all.  We are so easily charmed, so quick to speak up, so wrong, so in need of a little divine intervention. How could you not love us, even if we are annoying and blind?

I found this little triptych in an old pile of postcards - the title: The Annunciation with Saint Joseph and kneeling donors.  It is in the collection of the Metropolitan.  I looked at it for a long time before I thought to post it here. (I don't think I am violating any 15th century copyrights; if I am, I will pull the image down.) The longer I looked, the more fond I became of the two donors in the left panel - look at those faces - kneeling and hoping to see in through the open door, across the frames of time, to see Mary and the angel, Joseph and his tools.  I like them...these two. I like they way they hope.

Another Palm Sunday, another year of anticipation, another shout of hopeful longing for the coming of whatever comes.  Maybe that is what the stones would cry out...bring it on - more time, more life, more death, more of all of it - and save us, help us...one and all, in our ignorance, in our hopeful longing....

Hosanna means:  "strictly, a cry expressing an appeal for divine help "save! Help, we pray!"  According to Wikipedia (the non-definitive source!). I ought to say it every day. And, if I tell the truth, I do. No matter what I hope for, or long for, or think I know or understand - at center...Hosanna.  

Love you - and miss you. 
Amanda

Monday, April 4, 2011

4 April 2010

Journal Doodle
colored pencil on graph paper 

Because it is suddenly spring, I am cleaning the house, or at least trying to.  It seems like a funny thing to do in the midst of the pine dusting that accompanies the blossoming of daffodils, but it is essential!  Sudden sunny days make the windows look especially dreary and in need of Windex. And the closets are stuffed with sweaters and long-sleeved tee shirts...I missed the memo about the heat today - all the way up to 86 degrees!  So my all black outfit, pants and turtleneck made me feel ridiculous on the drive home.  Windows down, sun on my skin, oh how I love this time of year.  But tomorrow will be much the same if I don't do something about these closets!

It is time for light colors and haircuts and "happy clothes."  Enough of the black on black with a jewel tone scarf! Time for patterns and prints, for linens instead of wools.  But none of that is possible if I don't clear and clean out my closet! So here are my closet insights for Spring 2011:


1. Black is not the only serious color!  
I have this funny feeling that informs a lot of my wardrobe: if I wear serious clothes, people will take me seriously.  More and more I know this is delusional or at least dubious - mostly because I am a serious person and everyone knows it.  But old habits, and especially old mental habits, die hard. It will take an act of extraordinary will to shed some of the black for more color.

Note to self:  Black in North Carolina in the summer months is not a wise choice...it communicates a lack of awareness of the world around you. In other words, I may hope to be taken seriously, but I do not want to look seriously hot!


2. Happy clothes are best purchased when you are happy!
I tend to shop in a kind of quiet desperation - some event to attend, some last minute need, always bargain hunting.  This is not how you build a wardrobe!  It is how you jam your closet full of impulse purchases!  I think happy shopping could change my life. No emergency, no sad mood I am trying to fend off.  Just joy shopping.  Life is good...clothes should reflect that.

Another note to self:  This all sounds so good in theory, but in practice it is more difficult.  Most of my happy time is spent in what I lovingly call "yoga wear" (also mostly black), super-soft and baggy with bare feet and no interest whatsoever in going clothes shopping!  


3. Pay attention to the young and learn from the old! 
I watch with some interest what my younger colleagues wear - how easily their clothes fit, how light and comfortable they appear.  But, this is balanced by watching those marvelous older women with their serious jewelry and so little makeup.  Being as I am - so fully ensconced in midlife - I hope to take something from both of them: ease and style; comfort and panache.  

And yes, yet another note to self:  This is precisely the issue!  Style is such a marvelous thing...but not if it is singular and written in concrete!  I find as a face down my closet that I see so many "selves" in there.  The serious minded young writer, the ambitious artist, the administrator, and the Oma (Grandbabies do give you a completely new identity!).  The funny part about midlife is that you are all these things at once and need a wardrobe that supports a profound "mutliple personality disorder"!   

4. Less is more - but only if the less is better!
I suspect this is a fundamental truth and one that I should take to my closet and to my beloved Ross. Yes, I admit that most of what I wear comes from one of three places:  "hand me overs" from Kirsten's sister - she has a natural eye for happy clothes and loves to shop!; the GoodWill - I just love the feeling that I am benefiting from the closets of the wealthy; and, my beloved Ross!  This chain of stores (do they have these in Michigan?) has supported my need for the perfect suit, sweaters, etc...all at discount prices for years.  But sometimes, I think it would be smart to set a budget and actually buy "better" clothes!  You know, the ones with the french seams and the perfect topstitching....

Final note to self:  Its spring - and what I really want to do is hang out in my "yoga wear" and watch the sky....doodle in my sketchbook...imagine a complete and perfect wardrobe from my perch on the porch swing...

This is no way to clean a closet!  
Love you,
Amanda  

PS  Check out deadfleurette. A fashion blog written by a 20 year old in Oslo Norway!  Hop around her site.  She is amazing...and writes like a dream.  Plus, if you join me in this folly, we can skew her reader statistics in our favor...very few over the age of 50 are reading this wise young woman.